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breadmaakesyoufat:

breadmaakesyoufat:

one time when i was 14, i pretended i was sick so i could stay home from school, i pretended i couldn’t talk, and i pretended to have a really sore throat, turned out my mum was really convinced and worried, so she took me to the hospital, i was very shocked when the doctor actually found out i had laryngitis. the next day i couldn’t talk and had a sore throat, oh irony, art thou a bitch.

image

stay home from school. save your own life.

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confessionsofarebel:

wirelessinfidelity:

apatheticghost:

boys are so lucky they have boners to tell them that theyre horny because girls are just like am i horny or am i hungry or am i bored i dont know i dont have a dick

That’s definitely an interesting take. But sometimes we get boners for no reason and it’s something like “What is it boy? Did you see something?”

You two are my new favorite people on this site.

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retrogradeworks:

This is how fucking stupid you sound when you say, ‘No homo.’
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trappedinsuburbanhell:

your-lies-ruin-lives:

accioculus:

the pro-life movement can be summed up by the fact that one of my friends who’s pregnant was taking the bus home from downtown when all the people from the March for Life were also leaving and she asked a young girl sitting in the priority seating if she could sit down because she’s pregnant and the girl replied, “well I’m really tired, i was at the march all day.”

Awkward.

Are you fucking joking

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